Weekend Update on Punxsutawney Phil – SNL

Weekend Update on Punxsutawney Phil – SNL


>>>TOMORROW THE NEW ENGLAND
PATRIOTS WILL ATTEMPT TO WIN THEIR FIFTH SUPER BOWL TITLE.
HERE TO TALK ABOUT IT IS THE BIGGEST RED SOX FAN WE KNOW,
BOSTON RED SOX SLUGGER –>>HEY, COMO ESTAS!
ARE YOU READY FOR THE SUPER BOWL?
>>I AM, I’M EXCITED. I MIGHT HAVE SOME PEOPLE OVER IF
YOU WANT TO –>>NO!
[ LAUGHTER ]>>SO BIG PAPI.
>>YES?>>DO YOU HAVE ANY KIND OF SUPER
BOWL TRADITIONS YOU DO?>>OH, YEAH, THIS GOING TO SHOCK
YOU, MAN. ACTUALLY, I DO A PRETTY BIG
LUNGE.>>YOU DO A BIG LUNGE.
>>A BIG LUNGE FOR BIG PAPI! [ LAUGHTER ]
YEAH, WE GOING TO HAVE — MOFAMBO.
WE GOING TO HAVE MOFONGO. ARROZ CON FIDEOS.
LANGOSTA CON MANTIQUILLA DE CHICHARRON.
Y COCOA DE YOGURT. AND YOU KNOW YON MADDEN?
>>JOHN MADDEN?>>YOU KNOW, HE ALWAYS MAKE A
TURDUCKEN. THAT’S A TURKEY INSIDE A DUCK
INSIDE A CHICKEN. I MAKE A MOFUNGUIN.
THAT’S A MOFONGO INSIDE A CHICKEN INSIDE A PENGUIN.
[ LAUGHTER ] IT IS A BIG MOFONGO TOO, SO
YOU’RE GOING TO NEED A BIG-ASS PENGUIN.
[ LAUGHTER ]>>WHERE ARE YOU GETTING A
PENGUIN?>>FROM THE ZOO, BRO.
YEAH. YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY.
HAPPY FEET, HAPPY IN STOMACH. [ LAUGHTER ]
>>NO, THEY DON’T — THEY DON’T — NO.
>>EATING PENGUIN.>>NO ONE SAYS THAT.
YOU’RE RETIRED FROM BASEBALL, OBVIOUSLY.
I’VE NOTICED YOU’RE DOING A LOT MORE ADS ON TV.
>>YEAH, I GOT A HUNGRY MOUTH TO FEED, MAN, THIS ONE.
THAT’S WHY I DO PRODUCT PLUGS.>>YOU PLUG PRODUCTS ON TV?
>>NO, NO, NO. I TELL YOU WHICH PRODUCTS HAVE
PLUGS. LAMP.
THAT’S-A GOT A PLUG. TOASTER.
THAT’S-A GOT A PLUG TOO. HAMSTER WHEEL.
THAT NO DON’T NEED A PLUG. IT’S-A GOT A HAMSTER.
YOU SEE IT’S VERY EDUCATIONAL.>>I LEARNED A LOT.
>>I ALSO DO ADS FOR LITTLE SCISSORS.
>>OH, LIKE LITTLE CAESAR’S PIZZA?
>>NO, NO, NO. LITTLE SCISSORS.
DO YOU WANT TO GIVE A HAIRCUT TO A LITTLE BABY?
OR CUT THE TOENAILS OF A PRIMA DONNA IGUANA?
REACH FOR LITTLE SCISSORS. BUT DON’T GIVE TO IT A MONKEY.
HE MIGHT CUT YOUR PEEPEE.>>WOW.
YEAH, THANKS, I CAN VISUALIZE IT, THANK YOU.
>>YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.>>DO YOU HAVE ANY ADS RUNNING
IN THE SUPER BOWL?>>OH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
I GOT ONE FOR A NEW SPONSOR. A PRODUCT FOR EVERYBODY.
>>EVERYONE, YEAH.>>ARE YOU SELF-CONSCIOUS ABOUT
YOUR BODY? AND ARE YOU A MANATEE?
WELL, WHY NOT WEAR A MANA-TEE? A T-SHIRT A FAT MAN CAN WEAR
WHEN HE GOES SWIMMING. BUT IT NO HELP WITH THE BOAT
PROPELLER. [ AUDIENCE MOANING ]
>>NO, NO, NO.>>HEY, DO YOU KNOW HOW THE
MANATEE GOT SO FAT?>>NO, HOW?
>>FROM EATING –>>FROM EATING CON QUESO FRITO.
IT’S A NO GOOD FOR MANATEES.>>OR HUMANS.
>>NO, NOT GOOD FOR ANYBODY.>>DO YOU HAVE ANY SUPER BOWL
PREDICTIONS?>>OH, YEAH.
I PREDICT I’M GOING TO REALLY ENJOY LADY HAHA.
[ LAUGHTER ] I TELL YOU THIS.
I NEVER BET AGAINST THE FALCONS. NOT AFTER FALCONS TORE MY COUSIN
TO PIECES. [ LAUGHTER ]
SO! IF I HAD TO PREDICT THE FINAL
SCORE, I’D SAY FALCONS, ONE COUSIN.
PATRIOTS, ONE HUNDRED MOFONGO.>>BIG PAPI, EVERYONE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] FOR “WEEKEND UPDATE,” I’M
COLIN JOST. NOT YET.
I’M SORRY. I STARTED ENDING IT.
>>I HAVE TO LEAVE NOW, BYE-BYE!>>BIG PAPI, EVERYONE!
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>>>ON GROUNDHOG DAY,
PUNXSUTAWNEY PHIL SAW HIS SHADOW, MEANING SIX MORE WEEKS
OF WINTER. ISN’T IT KIND OF FUNNY THAT
GROUNDHOG DAY STARTS THE SECOND DAY OF BLACK HISTORY MONTH?
JUST ONE DAY INTO ABOUT LEARNING ABOUT MARTIN LUTHER KING AND
ROSA PARKS AND THE WE’RE LIKE, OH, YEAH, THAT’S GREAT — OH
LOOK, A GROUNDHOG! THAT LOOKS WAY MORE INTERESTING!
>>I WANT TO QUOTE OUR HOST FROM THE MONOLOGUE.
>>>POLICE AT KENNEDY AIRPORT ARRESTED A MAN AFTER THEY FOUND
COCAINE HIDDEN IN THREE CANS OF TUNA.
HE FACES UP TO TEN YEARS FOR THE COCAINE AND THE DEATH PENALTY
FOR BRINGING TUNA ONTO AN AIRPLANE.
[ LAUGHTER ] A NEW STUDY FINDS THAT PEOPLE
CAN IMPROVE THEIR SLEEP BY CAMPING OUTSIDE FOR A WEEK
DURING THE WINTER. THE STUDY WAS PUBLISHED BY
HUNGRY WOLVES. [ LAUGHTER ]
>>>A SAUDI PRINCE HAS REPORTEDLY SPENT OVER $15,000 TO
BUY SEATS FOR HIS PET FALCONS, 80 OF THEM.
AND THEN ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE WHEN THEY STARTED THE IN-FLIGHT
MOVIE “STUART LITTLE.” [ LAUGHTER ]
>>TOMORROW IS SUPER BOWL LI. IT’S THE NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS
VERSUS THE ATLANTA FALCONS. EVERYBODY’S TALKING ABOUT
PROTESTER AND HALFTIME WITH LADY HAHA.
[ LAUGHTER ] BUT AFTER EVERYTHING THIS YEAR
I JUST WANT TO WATCH FOOTBALL AND DORITOS COMMERCIALS.
I USED TO MAKE FUN OF WHITE GUYS FOR GETTING UPSET AT KAEPERNICK
FOR PROTESTING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM.
BUT NOW I GET IT. I’M EXHAUSTED TOO.
FOR THREE HOURS, I JUST DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT ANY SOCIAL
ISSUES OR POLITICS. I JUST WANT TO RELAX, TURN MY
BRAIN OFF, AND WATCH THE BLACKEST CITY IN AMERICA BEAT
THE MOST RACIST CITY I’VE EVER BEEN TO.
[ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>>FOR WEEKEND UPDATE, I’M COLIN JOST!
>>I’M MICHAEL CHE, GOODNIGHT

100 thoughts on “Weekend Update on Punxsutawney Phil – SNL

  1. well I guess the racist win wtf. well there was a lot of hites on the new england team almost look like the Kansas City Royals. hahahaha I get the joke know hahaha

  2. Blackest city in America against the racist city  but he just wants to relax and enjoy the game. Nothing inflammatory about that? Keep it up .Karma is a bitch .

  3. I'm confused by the last line lol maybe it's cuz I'm from the north and from Boston but…. I don't see how it's the most racist city…. I vacationed last summer down south and I've never felt more white guilt in my life when almost every house I past had a confederate flag. Maybe I'm just blind to it here though idk

  4. Boy are you going to be disappointed. Patriots pulled off their greatest come back ever and best the Falcon last night. Shame too, thought finally there was at least 1 NFL team that could knock the Patriots off there game.

  5. Boston the most racist city ??????   Really … oh that's right the bus thing that happened over 40 years ago ,,,, get over it …

  6. All these people talking about Boston isn't a racist city, says all the white people. I visited their once and will never go back. I feel more welcomed going to Huntsville, AL or even Meridian, MS which by the way those people are extremely nice.

  7. Obviously Punxsutawny Phil doesn't believe in climate change … more winter (umm Phil we didn't even have a winter)

  8. Just because Boston is Rasict doesn't mean that they are a bad city. They are revolutional and they welcomed slaves when the south still slaved them. Also the Patriots beat the Falcons. Maybe next they'll win their fist super bowl.(not)

  9. That whole skit suck and if you think that you're going to make the next four years about Trump jokes and racist jokes well then you can kma

  10. So Che can say Boston is the most racist city that he's ever been to, yet in the same Weekend Update (and previous ones as well), using David Ortiz's Dominican accent for comedic effect is not?

  11. How is Boston the Most Racist city in America?? NOT Funny!! So sick of the "Racist" joke!! Its not really Funny its Played out…ENOUGH!

  12. Michael Che is a hideously ugly, low IQ, anti-White, piece of shit. How'd that work out for you Michael? Isn't it so typical that the "Blackest team in football" got way ahead, got lazy and lost it all! Shocker, the Black guys quit half way thru the game! Lmfao!

  13. You mean the "blackest team in football" got way ahead in the game, got lazy and quit half way through? Who would've thought? Rofl!

  14. Che sits there and spews anti-White hate rhetoric and of course that little self-hating liberal faggot Colin Jost says and does nothing. You liberal "men" are all cowardly beta-males.

  15. are any of you people disagree with his last statement if you ever been to boston its racist as fuck out there. you think its racist down south come to the racist east cost home of rich racist republicans lol boston and the state of Massachusetts is very racist. lol why does America act like they dnt know this

  16. Not cool Mr. Che. Boston is not the city it was during bussing in the 70's. Maybe if u wear a Yankee cap u might catch some shit, but nothing racial bro. Ease up

  17. White people in the comments telling black people their experiences of racism in Boston aren't true, and therefore Boston isn't racist. Ironically proving Che's Point.

  18. They talked about a saudi prince and his falcons… Gabriel Iglesias talked about a Saudi prince that offered him a falcon. 🤔

  19. He paints a whole city with an offensive label? Has he been to Boston? Its diverse. How clueless. Is it because there were a lot of Irish? The Irish were victims of racists so for generations have opposed racisms more than other white group. They've been electing liberal anti racist politicians for generations. Where does he think the whites who fought to end slavery came from? The south? He's coming across as hating white people and making himself look racist. Did he just say he's rooting for a city because it's black and the other one is white. Because Boston's stereotype is white it must mean it's racist right? That's bull and he knows it. Boston's very very diverse. It's got the same breakdown of ethnic neighborhoods as any American city. So stupid. If you insist of making a dumb sweeping statement about Boston then saying is a student town is closer to the truth.

  20. God that big poppy impression is awful and worthless. Has anyone actually laughed at that? It's kinda xenophobic

  21. I find it so adorable when Che laughs in the background. And in this WU, I think that's where he flubbed it and just gave up and went "shut up, Colin" lol. It was so cute

  22. Racist, eh? But definitely not friendly . I saw 10 black people in the Boston area the 4 days I was there. When they say diverse – they mean Asian & East Indians .

  23. The hungry wolves and Stuart Little jokes got me. I can only imagine those falcons flying amok like they were in a mosh pit, biting and clawing each other. Then you've got the one taking a break on a seat back, eyes unflinching, breathing hard just waiting to get back in the fray. Relax boys, it's only a movie.😅😅😅😅🐭🐭🐭

  24. Yeah, Boston's racist. But if it's the most racist city you've ever been to, then you haven't been to parts of the South or Europe.

  25. Most racist city ever has won. But they did lose to the Real blackest city in America; philly

  26. Product plugs? You're not plugged into nothing. I don't like him. Were da white woman at? Tyrone, shut the fuck up.

  27. That last bit is pretty awkward in retrospect. I mean, they almost beat the Patriots, but then they didn't 😂😂😂

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