Weekend Update: David Ortiz on the Super Bowl – SNL

Weekend Update: David Ortiz on the Super Bowl – SNL


>>>TOMORROW THE NEW ENGLAND
PATRIOTS WILL ATTEMPT TO WIN THEIR FIFTH SUPER BOWL TITLE.
HERE TO TALK ABOUT IT IS THE BIGGEST RED SOX FAN WE KNOW,
BOSTON RED SOX SLUGGER –>>HEY, COMO ESTAS!
ARE YOU READY FOR THE SUPER BOWL?
>>I AM, I’M EXCITED. I MIGHT HAVE SOME PEOPLE OVER IF
YOU WANT TO –>>NO!
[ LAUGHTER ]>>SO BIG PAPI.
>>YES?>>DO YOU HAVE ANY KIND OF SUPER
BOWL TRADITIONS YOU DO?>>OH, YEAH, THIS GOING TO SHOCK
YOU, MAN. ACTUALLY, I DO A PRETTY BIG
LUNGE.>>YOU DO A BIG LUNGE.
>>A BIG LUNGE FOR BIG PAPI! [ LAUGHTER ]
YEAH, WE GOING TO HAVE — MOFAMBO.
WE GOING TO HAVE MOFONGO. ARROZ CON FIDEOS.
LANGOSTA CON MANTIQUILLA DE CHICHARRON.
Y COCOA DE YOGURT. AND YOU KNOW YON MADDEN?
>>JOHN MADDEN?>>YOU KNOW, HE ALWAYS MAKE A
TURDUCKEN. THAT’S A TURKEY INSIDE A DUCK
INSIDE A CHICKEN. I MAKE A MOFUNGUIN.
THAT’S A MOFONGO INSIDE A CHICKEN INSIDE A PENGUIN.
[ LAUGHTER ] IT IS A BIG MOFONGO TOO, SO
YOU’RE GOING TO NEED A BIG-ASS PENGUIN.
[ LAUGHTER ]>>WHERE ARE YOU GETTING A
PENGUIN?>>FROM THE ZOO, BRO.
YEAH. YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY.
HAPPY FEET, HAPPY IN STOMACH. [ LAUGHTER ]
>>NO, THEY DON’T — THEY DON’T — NO.
>>EATING PENGUIN.>>NO ONE SAYS THAT.
YOU’RE RETIRED FROM BASEBALL, OBVIOUSLY.
I’VE NOTICED YOU’RE DOING A LOT MORE ADS ON TV.
>>YEAH, I GOT A HUNGRY MOUTH TO FEED, MAN, THIS ONE.
THAT’S WHY I DO PRODUCT PLUGS.>>YOU PLUG PRODUCTS ON TV?
>>NO, NO, NO. I TELL YOU WHICH PRODUCTS HAVE
PLUGS. LAMP.
THAT’S-A GOT A PLUG. TOASTER.
THAT’S-A GOT A PLUG TOO. HAMSTER WHEEL.
THAT NO DON’T NEED A PLUG. IT’S-A GOT A HAMSTER.
YOU SEE IT’S VERY EDUCATIONAL.>>I LEARNED A LOT.
>>I ALSO DO ADS FOR LITTLE SCISSORS.
>>OH, LIKE LITTLE CAESAR’S PIZZA?
>>NO, NO, NO. LITTLE SCISSORS.
DO YOU WANT TO GIVE A HAIRCUT TO A LITTLE BABY?
OR CUT THE TOENAILS OF A PRIMA DONNA IGUANA?
REACH FOR LITTLE SCISSORS. BUT DON’T GIVE TO IT A MONKEY.
HE MIGHT CUT YOUR PEEPEE.>>WOW.
YEAH, THANKS, I CAN VISUALIZE IT, THANK YOU.
>>YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.>>DO YOU HAVE ANY ADS RUNNING
IN THE SUPER BOWL?>>OH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
I GOT ONE FOR A NEW SPONSOR. A PRODUCT FOR EVERYBODY.
>>EVERYONE, YEAH.>>ARE YOU SELF-CONSCIOUS ABOUT
YOUR BODY? AND ARE YOU A MANATEE?
WELL, WHY NOT WEAR A MANA-TEE? A T-SHIRT A FAT MAN CAN WEAR
WHEN HE GOES SWIMMING. BUT IT NO HELP WITH THE BOAT
PROPELLER. [ AUDIENCE MOANING ]
>>NO, NO, NO.>>HEY, DO YOU KNOW HOW THE
MANATEE GOT SO FAT?>>NO, HOW?
>>FROM EATING –>>FROM EATING CON QUESO FRITO.
IT’S A NO GOOD FOR MANATEES.>>OR HUMANS.
>>NO, NOT GOOD FOR ANYBODY.>>DO YOU HAVE ANY SUPER BOWL
PREDICTIONS?>>OH, YEAH.
I PREDICT I’M GOING TO REALLY ENJOY LADY HAHA.
[ LAUGHTER ] I TELL YOU THIS.
I NEVER BET AGAINST THE FALCONS. NOT AFTER FALCONS TORE MY COUSIN
TO PIECES. [ LAUGHTER ]
SO! IF I HAD TO PREDICT THE FINAL
SCORE, I’D SAY FALCONS, ONE COUSIN.
PATRIOTS, ONE HUNDRED MOFONGO.>>BIG PAPI, EVERYONE.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

100 thoughts on “Weekend Update: David Ortiz on the Super Bowl – SNL

  1. didn't give a single shit about football until I learned this Super Bowl was basically trump supporters vs. the world. go falcons.

  2. Kenan Thompson… why is he still on SNL? He's so unfunny. Every character he plays is exactly the same, with that stupid grin on his face.

  3. These people can't be fucking serious right? There are actually people cheering for the Falcons just because Trump is "friends" with Bady? Absolutely pathetic, people like that are what's actally wrong with this country

  4. It's weird being a Patriots fan knowing BIll and Tom support Trump. Almost makes me sick to be a fan of them but now I'm supporting the rest of the team, especially Devin McCourtey. He's one hell of a leader on the defense.

  5. I think unemployed Trump supporters should become wall volunteers and help Trump to build that wall. Let's make the whole country one big gated community.

  6. I like Keenan Thomson and he is funny enough but he is terrible at impersonations and all his characters sound the same.

  7. Can't just watch a fucking football game with out bringing politics in it. We get it you don't like Trump, we also get that you don't like Hilary. But there is more to life than your goddamn political opinion. Oh they're Trump supporters me no like him. Shut the fuck up and enjoy a football game.

  8. so.. people don't like the Patriots now because one or two players like the president. America is growing more and more prejudice. after 8 years of Obama you'd think we'd have grown up. but it appears we got worse. get ready for the next American Civil war. it's coming. and it ain't trumps fault, it's the American peoples fault.

  9. can't say i understand anything about football because i don't, and the skull bashing bothers me. do love to see how teams play as as a team, and leaning toward the Falcons. really looking to see lady haha and her team of athletes. play a fair game and enjoy

  10. Yeducational. Little Scissors…πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  11. shit! i didn't know being friends with a guy automatically makes you his supporter and agree with every thing he says! crazy! anyways go pats!

  12. fuck trump, long live the pats. just cuz he loves us doesnt mean we love him (look at the 0 states in new england that were red this election)

  13. I don't get why SNL hates trump, yet won't hire more Latino comediens. Instead they do these outdated stereotypes.

  14. Hi hello I do you want to go on the best to visit the family and family for a little bit of fun with friends family friends with family and family family friends with friends family friends with a little woman family friends family friends with friends and friends friends and like a woman and like you have want you

  15. People are actually surprised that Brady and Belichek support Trump? They are two of the most snide closet racists I've ever seen.

  16. "lagosta con mantequilla de chicharron" Lobster with Pork fried Skin butter LMFAO being Dominican myself this skit funny as hell hahaha…

  17. .29 and Beyond is straight BX [no disrespect to my Puerto Rican-Americans Oye] and the lunch menu and product plugs… J & G is pronounced Like a Y

  18. His impression is absolutely fucking terrible. Sounds nothing like him at all, I don't get how it's funny. Great impressions are awesome but this is a joke πŸ‘ŽπŸΌπŸ‘ŽπŸΌπŸ‘ŽπŸΌπŸ‘ŽπŸΌπŸ‘ŽπŸΌ

  19. Funny thing is wasakaka is actually a special type of glaze that Venezuelans use on chicken. But its spelled guasacaca.

  20. πŸ‡©πŸ‡΄πŸ‡©πŸ‡΄πŸ‡©πŸ‡΄πŸ‡©πŸ‡΄πŸ‡©πŸ‡΄πŸ‡©πŸ‡΄πŸ‡©πŸ‡΄πŸ‡©πŸ‡΄πŸ‡©πŸ‡΄πŸ‡©πŸ‡΄

  21. If i watch another snl video where you fuckers put the same non skippable ad before it, im gonna scream….

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