Wednesday, February 26

Live from New York City, it’s the “Wendy Williams Show!” ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ ♪ Feel it, feel it ♪ ♪ Feel it ♪ ♪ Feel it, feel it ♪ ♪ Feel it ♪ ♪ Feel it, feel it, feel it ♪ ♪ Let’s go ♪ ♪ Come on you need it ♪ ♪ How you doin’ ♪ ♪ How you doin’ ♪ Now, here’s Wendy! (audience cheering and applauding) ♪ Ooh ooh ♪ ♪ Ooh ooh ♪ ♪ Ooh ooh ♪ ♪ Ooh ooh ♪ ♪ Ooh ooh ♪ ♪ Ooh ooh ♪ ♪ Ooh ooh ♪ ♪ How you doin’ ♪ ♪ Ooh ooh ♪ ♪ Ooh ooh ♪ Hi! (audience cheering and applauding) Thank you for watching our show. Say hello to my co-hosts, I’m still getting ready. How you doin’? How you doin’? I’m doing okay today, let’s get started, it’s time for Hot Topics. (audience cheering and applauding) (upbeat music) ♪ Ooh ooh ♪ ♪ Ooh ooh ♪ Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Thank you for coming, I love you too. Thank you for going outta your way. So, tonight is Wednesday, of course, “Real Housewives of New Jersey.” A lotta you don’t care anymore. (audience laughing) I feel an obligation, in a weird kinda way. Theresa loses it, we’ve got a clip, okay. You’re gonna see the rest of it play out tonight. But, remember a few weeks ago Danielle pulled Margaret’s ponytail? Yes! But the ponytail didn’t move. (audience laughing) Okay. That’s a good one, Margaret. Then a drink was thrown on her, a margarita. And then last week Danielle told Melissa that Theresa was the one who told her to pull it. So Melissa of course, the grand liar. I hate to say that, because you know when she was spending all that money season one. Theresa. Grand liar. No, I’m sorry, Theresa’s the grand liar. Look, she was just here, damn. (audience laughing) I need to stop watching, everybody looks alike to me. Okay, so, tonight Melissa reveals the truth to all the ladies. It’s really kinda disgusting ’cause Melissa gets caught out there. Theresa gets put out there. (laughing) I’m not watching. Right. What else is coming on? I’m not watching, I can’t be involved. All right, you all just pay attention, here you go. She’s saying Theresa told her to pull Margaret’s hair? I don’t believe it. You would never do that. Is she lying? (dramatic music) I don’t even… I remember her saying something to me. I don’t know. I was drinking, and everything happened so fast. You (beep) love this girl so much that you’re gonna (beep) just let her hurt me? You have been going bat for her since day one and look what the (beep) she just did to you. Wow. I mean, I feel bad, I hope they don’t use this. They are gonna use it. (dramatic music) (clanking) Wow. What did she throw that for? She’s pissed at the producers. Oh, (beep). Ooh! Okay, that’s what Theresa does. This kinda stuff, I don’t wanna see, is what I meant to say. You remember the first season she was spending all of that money, she was really cute and adorable with her daughters and stuff? We believed that the money was legit. We thought it was crazy she was paying stacks of cash for the furniture. A life to be envied, she was living. And now, I’ve forgiven Theresa for whatever I ever thought weird about her, she’s lost Joe, she’s got these four daughters. She’s out here just trying to make it on her own, and I feel bad for her. I didn’t wanna see the part where she says, where’s that tape? We don’t have the “Get her,” tape, that just played? The “Get her,” tape, wait, what part? “Attack her.” “Get her.” Oh, oh, oh, oh, no, we had. It’s in the B roll but we don’t have that part. She was like whispering in Danielle’s ear like, “Do it, do it, pull her hair.” Yeah, yeah. See, this is Theresa saying, “Do it, do it.” Exactly, I don’t wanna see this, ’cause to me, that is old crusty Theresa that makes you say, “I don’t feel sorry for you at all.” (audience applauding) Just saying. I was reading something about Joe Gorga, though, and his real estate thing. I don’t wanna talk about it. Me neither. ‘Cause Melissa was just here, and they’re a good, the Gorgas, you know, they’re a good family. But apparently Joe is being accused of some faulty real estate mess. This came out the day, oh, so you heard, you saw it, Seth? Okay, that came out like the day after she was here having lovely conversation on our cheap and cheerful show. (audience laughing) And then it was like either that night, on one of the ETs or something, or the next morning, you and I saw, oh, wait, no, no, don’t make Joe Gorga crooked. Come on, now. Anyway, it’s the finale tonight. So if you can tolerate one more night, everybody, “Real Housewives of Jersey,” tonight at eight, early enough on Bravo. (audience applauding) I know it’s not National Celery Day, but, I feel as though it should be or something. (audience laughing) (groaning) I feel very Christian in this. Thank you. It’s Ash Wednesday. (audience applauding) Today was not the day for go-go stylings, you know, God is watching. I’m not Catholic, so I don’t do the ash. But I don’t like to be left out of a movement, so I have given up, I decided, I changed it from salami, that’s too easy. Yeah, right. I was gonna give up salami for lent, 30 days, right? Where are the Catholics? [Audience Members] 40 days. 40 days, all right, I could do 40 days with no salami, but I said, no, that might be too easy. (audience laughing) So, instead, I’m gonna combine giving up salami, which I had for breakfast this morning. (audience laughing) Dripped a little piece of salami juice right here on my dress. It dripped right in there. You know, ’cause it’s all oily and stuff. I just like to roll it up, you forget the sandwich part. Heat it a little bit in the microwave so that pot of juice is sitting in the middle. (Suzanne groaning) (audience laughing) But I ate what I did for breakfast, then I threw the rest away, there were only two more slices, and then, that’s it for salami for 40 days, and I’m also giving up beef. Oh. Yeah, I can do that. (audience applauding) I don’t eat a lotta beef, so it shouldn’t be too hard. I’m not gonna give up candy. Please, that’s a food group. Oh no, no, no. And I was thinking about cheese, but I was like, no, ’cause cheese makes everything better. No, no, cheese must stay. Suzanne, I know you’re Jewish, but you also have a Catholic streak in you. Yeah. At least four times a week. Yes, we don’t give up anything. (audience laughing) You know what? There are a lotta bad Catholics around here at “Wendy.” Uh-huh, a lot. I have not seen one ash. Nope, me neither. Not one. Nope. Couple of people said they’re going, ’cause you know, the church doesn’t close until seven, in the suburbs sometimes nine o’clock, they say they’re going, you know, later on. We’ll check tomorrow to see if there’s anything. No, ’cause you have to sleep on your back. And then they take a shower, right, we hope. Yeah, if you still have the ash then you’re funky. Ew. (Suzanne laughing) (audience applauding) Are you gonna give up anything? (stammering) Are you Baptist? I’m Baptist, yep. Born and raised.
But, still, so what? Be a part of the movement. Uh-huh. All right, what are you giving up? How ’bout I give up alcohol, I guess. That’s a big commitment.
40 days? Yeah, for 40 days. Okay! (audience applauding) Are you serious? Yes. I can’t believe I’m saying this on TV. (chuckling) You have your chance to change your mind before Hot Topics is over. Okay! That’s a big commitment. I’m gonna move along, but, you pay attention to what I’m talking about. At the same time, think maybe you wanna swap out that. Right, right. ‘Cause if you saw the debate last night, that’d make you wanna be on. Right. ‘Cause they all were apparently. How horrible. So, the Whitney Houston hologram, everybody, kicked off it’s tour last night. (audience gasping and jeering) In England. And the reviews are, well, one person said, “Didn’t we almost have it all?” Oh! “Yes, darling, but not tonight.” Another person said, “It’s not right, “and it’s definitely not okay.” People found it creepy, and just totally blowing their minds with the creeptivity of the whole thing. It wasn’t two hours like we were originally led to believe, thank goodness, it was one hour. So you go in there for one hour, you take a look at something, maybe, you’ve never seen in your life. The hologram was mostly backstage. Not in back of the stage, but you know, way back there, while the background dancers did most of the thing, and the Whitney hologram was basically just shuffling her feet. But Whitney wasn’t a dancer to begin with. I do mind the hologram, I don’t mind going just to spy on it. Like I told you, stay there for 10 minutes. Just to see the creeptivity of it all. To me that does look like Whitney. No it doesn’t. It looks nothing like her? Well, for a hologram. Well, her cousin Dionne Warwick said that she’s angry about it. And so is Clive Davis, they want it shut down. In the meantime, her brother Gary, who’s married to Pat Houston, the commandeer of the dance. Anyway, Gary was supposed to be listed as… Background singer. Or was it Michael? No, it was Gary. Okay, Gary. Is the background singer. But he wasn’t there. And Pat is, I’ll say it again, I think that this is just a total money grab, and this is so creepy and weird. Opening act was Rob Green. Do you know who Rob Green is? No. Neither do I. I don’t know, I don’t know. Whitney had a I’ve opening act, it wasn’t a hologram. That’s him, Rob Green. And it probably was scheming Pat’s artist. You know, scheming Pat tryna… A more money grab. No, I don’t know, we don’t know. I don’t know if that’s her artist or not. Nor do I. The Whitney hologram tour continues tomorrow night in Liverpool. (audience applauding) Did you hear about that Hot Pockets heiress? Ooh. (Suzanne laughing) I mean, isn’t that a hoot? We talked about this story when it first came out but it was so long ago you all might not even been paying attention to the whole college scandal. Maybe you were distracted with Bill Cosby, or, the now dearly departed Harvey Weinstein, who’s over at the Riker’s Island, good morning inmates. (audience laughing) (audience cheering and applauding) People got mad at me yesterday, Suzanne, ’cause I asked you to please stop having people clap. I know. But you realize what you did, right? Yeah, well– Wagmeister was here, this was a very monumental thing, and people who watch through the TV, they always hear my microphone is on. Joanie does her job real well. But, when you all clap as co-hosts, you miss out on the conversation that I’m having, so, they’re are more people watching than you all in here. So, technically speaking this matters more, I guess, in passing the story. But for you all to be adequate co-hosts, I need you to hear what’s going on in here. So when she encourages clapping, and then you all just start clapping, me and Wagmeister are still talking, and she’s talking about something monumental, for which, I didn’t want anybody to miss a beat. So that’s why I was saying, please– I know, people were all mad, that they thought you yelled at me. When you were– Yeah, well, pick a finger, okay. Exactly. Pick one. Exactly. I wasn’t yelling at anybody. I was trying to make sure that my co-hosts got the adequate information so that they’re well informed, Norman. Right. (audience applauding) So about this Hot Pockets heiress. So, her father and her uncle discovered Hot Pockets. Who doesn’t like a Hot Pocket? Well, I don’t eat ’em anymore, but you know, especially if you have kids, that was like a food group. Then they came out with Lean Pockets when we thought we had to lose some weight. The Lean Pockets with the turkey inside. Anyway, the heiress was sentenced to five months in prison yesterday for her role in the college cheating scandal thing. Now, to me, five months is not long enough, I’m sorry. This girl has grown up privileged all of her life. And sometimes, you know, people like this need to be taught a more stiff lesson about how you just can’t run over the law while the rest of us pay. You know, we’d be under the jail, instead, she gets five months in jail. She’ll probably go to one of those camp cupcake jails. She’s 49-years-old, her name is Michelle. She was also ordered to pay a mere $100,000. Excuse me, no, she paid a mere $100,000. ‘Cause to me this is not enough for going to jail, you would think that she woulda paid millions, and that’s why she’d be in trouble. But, pay is pay. Our kids have to apply properly. She paid $100,000 for her daughter’s ACTs to be doctored. Now, I don’t know what kinda daughter you have, but the SATs are way harder than the ACTs. A lotta kids choose these days, I didn’t even know what an ACT was when I did it. That’s all I took. In the Midwest, in Chicago, that’s all we took, was the ACT. Well, you know that’s the easier test. I learned that when Kev was applying to colleges. Right. He did okay on the SATs, but he was applying to schools who accepted ACT test scores. He let me know that it’s a lot easier to take. Even his tutor, tutoring him for it, was like, “It’s a lot easier to take.” So, I don’t know what kinda dumbbell daughter you have. But, so, she paid $100,000 to get the ACTs doctored. And then another $200,000 to have her daughters named beach volleyball recruit to USC. The girl probably has never volleyed or balled in her life. So all the mom, at 49, has to do, right, go to jail for five months, she’s paying a $250,000 fine. And I guess she’ll be on probation. Look, dummy, you had the world at your feet. You’re the queen of all Hot Pockets. You know what? I hope you learn your lesson from this. This was definitely not worth it. No. Dummy. (audience applauding) It wasn’t worth it. She starts serving her sentence on April 7th. Look at this, she’s got a whole month to pack up her diamonds. Khloe’s got that friend Malika, you know, one of those twins. Okay, this is her. Awe. I know, she looks really pretty pregnant. I don’t know who her baby’s father is, I don’t really follow her like that. OT Genesis. Who? A rapper, OT Genesis. ♪ You need to cut it ♪ Oh! (audience laughing and applauding) Oh, okay, oh, I know that. Okay. Anyway, so, they’re pregnant and she’s being mommy shamed because she’s planning her mommy makeover before she gives birth. Malika posted a picture with her plastic surgeon saying, “I’m fully booked for my post-pregnancy makeover.” “I can’t wait.” And Instagram people are calling her “Spoiled and shallow.” Gee, jealous much? (audience applauding) Jealous much? Let me tell you something, and she can go to the gym, and she can go hiking and do all that other kinda stuff. But, you know, if you have the money, and you have the bravery, and you’re not going into debt. Your kids are still taken care of, and there’s still a roof over her head, why wouldn’t she? I had two five month miscarriages, by the time I got into that six month with young Kev and I knew I was in the clear, you know the cerclage, sew up my, there I am. No, no, no, this was like a week before I delivered. I weighed 297 pounds. And honey, at my six month of birth I had the surgeon on the phone from bed rest. I’m like, I want this, that, the third, yes. Are you outta your mind? Nobody has time to gym down after this catastrophe. (audience applauding) My promise was that I was gonna get it done, and then promise myself never to have it untuck again. Like, I swam this morning. I swim, I don’t do a whole lotta exercise, but I do stuff. I push back from the table and I try to watch my stuff. I don’t wanna waste the money, but yep, that’s 297 pounds. I only lost four pounds when I gave birth to him. And I’m looking like, what the hell? I had all my stuff all, I had the full makeover lined up. (audience laughing) Okay, so over in Staten Island, the mob wife, Drita D’Avanzo, well, she got some really great news. And I mean, really great news. ‘Cause remember, back in December we told you that Drita and her husband were arrested when the cops were observing them from afar, had the search warrants all ready, ran up to the front door, boom, boom, boom. They open the door like, “We’re not letting you in.” “You don’t have a search warrant.” They were like, “Oh, yes, yes, here’s the search warrant.” “And we’ve been following you.” They went in that house, the 12-year-old daughter was there. They found weed, guns, scale with some stuff on it, of the white persuasion. Ziploc bags, ready to zip and lock and make business. The news that Drita found out is that all the charges against her and her husband were dropped. Now how does that happen? (audience applauding) I mean, I’m happy! I’m happy, but how do they observe you from afar because your nosy neighbors called. ‘Cause the nosy neighbors called the FBI saying, “This is bigger than the Staten Island police, okay.” “We are seeing all kinds of activity going on “at this house all the time.” “They’ve got a child living in there, “and you all need to go over there.” So instead of them going right to the house and knocking, they observed them for like a month or so from across the street in unmarked cars, I guess, down low, with a periscope. (laughing) But, okay, but he’s still facing federal charges. So, now, he’s probably still on probation, I’m not exactly sure. We’ve only known him for being a criminal. Uh-huh. She likes that type. But Drita is free and, look, Drita, I don’t know. And how is your 12-year-old daughter? Can you imagine the feds coming in there, screaming and yelling, scales tipping over, weed falling out everywhere. (audience laughing) Guns, bullets. The hell. (audience laughing) All right everyone, look, it’s National Celery Day. We’ve got more show for you. (audience applauding) Up next, Finesse Mitchell is on the couch for the first time. So, grab a snack and come on back. (audience cheering and applauding) (upbeat music) ♪ Ooh ooh ♪ Please welcome Finesse Mitchell. (upbeat music) (audience cheering and applauding) Welcome back, give me some. What are you French? Yeah. Get outta here. (audience cheering and applauding) Oh! This day, Wendy, this day. I like your rose. Thank you very much, JB Clothiers hooked me up in LA. He is a big fan. You look very nice. Thank you so much. Let me give you some shoe cam. Wanna give me some shoe cam? Yeah! Go ‘head. Woo. (whimsical twinkling music) Ferragamos. Okay! I’m trying to do it. Wow. I’m trying to get my Nick Cannon on, you know what I’m saying? (audience laughing) (laughing) I feel like I’ve known you for so long. Yes Wendy, I believe that. Because, I don’t know if you remember this story, I had a book out, “Your Girlfriend’s Only Know So Much.” And you were my first interview ever. I came to New York to do press, I came to your radio show, and as soon as I walked in I just went up to you, and I was just like, I’m just so excited to be here. Did you have a nice time? Yes, you treated me really nice, I was nervous. (audience applauding) I was nervous. You treated me so nice, and until this day we’ve just had this relationship where it seem like it’s gone on for like 10 years. Yeah! Congratulations on the sitcom. Thank you.
This is big, Finesse. Thank you, thank you. The sitcom is big, and I feel like just being on this couch is big. You’ve never been here, you’ve been a Hot Talk panel. Yes, yes, and I feel like, wow, somebody wants to interview me? Like, mama, my mama said, I’m going on Wendy and she wanna talk to me. “Wear a suit!” I said, yes, ma’am. So where do you film the sitcom? We’re in LA, we film off of Pico. The 20th Century lot, the Fox lot. And it’s great, because if you ever do multi-cam life you get a great schedule. We don’t know what that means. Multi-cam is on a stage platform, versus single-cam, you’re out on location somewhere. But you start at a certain time every day, you’re done at a certain time every day. Nice! And with my young girls, it’s great. I’m able to pick ’em up from school every day. Is everybody there a father? I know Biggs is a father.
Yes, Jason Biggs has two boys. Maggie’s single, Maggie Lawson from “Psyched.” You know Jason Biggs from “American Pie.” Yeah, of course. Yes. And, the great Tisha Campbell. Who plays your wife. Plays my wife. Yes. (audience applauding) In my audition Wendy, after it was done, she said to me, she whispered in my ear, she said. “You were the only one who brought comedy out of me.” “You made me wanna be funny, it was so good.” “So, I hope you get it.” And so I was driving home like, I better get it! (audience laughing) And I got it! And you got it. And I got it. (audience applauding) Back to your family life, ’cause then I wanna talk about “SNL.” I don’t even remember you from “SNL,” but I’ll get right to that. About your family life, okay. So, Finesse is married to El DeBarge’s daughter. Ooh. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Beautiful, beautiful girl. Now, where’d you meet her? I met her on the set of “Who’s Your Caddy?” I don’t know how many of you guys remember a comedy called “Who’s Your Caddy?” I had long dreadlocks in the movie. And I did the best ad-lib line ever in the history of a urban comedy when I stood up at a picnic and said, the potato salad is a forgery. But anyway, I just had to get that out. ‘Cause you know how black people feel about they potato salad. Yes, uh-huh, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. She was working with the producers. And I just remember meeting her and just was like, book note, she’s amazing. And at the time I wasn’t available. Did you know that she was a DeBarge? No, I just thought she was a beautiful girl. And so, when my first marriage didn’t work out. How long were you married the first time? 18 months. Okay, well, things happen. Yeah, but we were together for awhile. We were together, then you know how you get married and sometime marriage ruins stuff. Yes. Anyway, but it didn’t work out. And my wife has this thing. ‘Cause I was like, babe, how do you feel like we met? And her version was like, “Well, I was on this spiritual fast “because I had just gotten my heart broken “and I just needed to find a way back to heal.” “And I was looking for love.” “And then your relationship didn’t work out “and you were looking for the heart “that was meant to love you.” Yes, uh-huh. And I said, wow. She said, “What’s your version.” I said, I saw you on Facebook and your relationship status said “Single.” So, I sent a message and I basically invited her to the Cheesecake Factory and she went. With the best menu ever! With the best menu ever. What! Spinach dip got her. Please! What. (audience applauding) So, you know, by the time we got through the spinach dip and the bread, we were just talking about what my next moves were personally for me, and I said, you know what? I really think that we can work. I just… Get married. Just, let’s get married. How long were you single in between the 18 month and her? Probably three years. Oh yeah, so you had time. I was ready. And so, how old are your daughters with her? My oldest, Elle. Your oldest daughter’s name is Elle? Yes, well, my mother’s name is Elle Kate Mitchell. And then her dad’s name is El DeBarge. Oh, this is meant to be. So, we both told our parents like, “We named the baby after you.” You know what I mean? Yeah. How old is she? She just turned five, just had a big blow out party in the backyard. Nice. And the new baby, I call her the new baby, her name is Eva. So it’s like,
How cute. I could say, “Raising Elle,” and “Deliver Us From Eva.” (audience laughing) You have a really nice life. I’m so blessed right now! (audience applauding) I feel like everybody that the dots are connecting. How old are you about now? I’m about 46-ish. Yeah. No, but you’ve been around. Like, you’ve lived a lot, you’ve been around, you’re still young enough to have fun with your success, your money, you’re family, the whole bit. You wanna hear a quick fun fact? What? My first concert when I was 12-years-old was DeBarge and Luther Vandross. (audience gasping) That’s a fun fact, so… I don’t even believe that. It is. The Omni in Atlanta, the Omni Arena. Luther Vandross, The Deal, and DeBarge was opening. Not The Deal! The Deal. With Babyface? Babyface and LA Reid, “Shoot ‘Em Up Bang Bang,” The Deal. (audience laughing and applauding) Here’s the thing, I really do not remember your three years at “Saturday Night Live.” I do not remember them, I don’t recognize you there in the bed with Keenan dressed as a woman. I don’t recognize you. I had a ghetto girl character named Starkiesha that I used to do. Perfect. And, used to do anybody black. From Morgan Freeman. “I’m Morgan Freeman.” To any black female. ‘Cause back then, you know, that was a big deal. I was the years where they were like, “Why don’t y’all just hire a black woman “if y’all want a black woman?” But me and Maya Rudolph, we played anybody. All the black people. Any and everybody. And Kennan Thompson and I came in together in 2003, and Black History Month fact, Kennan Thompson is now the longest running cast member in the history of
Yeah, he’s still there. “Saturday Night Live.” (audience applauding) And so, did you end up leaving there, or did they fire you? Did you enjoy the party lifestyle, why don’t I recall you? Because, when I got there I was super, super hot. Like, when I got there it was just like, stand-up comic, on the Weekend Update desk a lot. And you’re living in New York. I’m living in New York. And then I just, walking down the streets of New York City. Were you single? Yes. Damn! I didn’t have a mentor, that’s what it was, because I started partying, and started trying to just hang out too much. And some people are professional partiers, and professional workers. And what I found out about myself was that I was just a professional partier. And when I came to work I kinda winged it a little bit. And I wasn’t giving it my all. And by the time I realized, oh, I know what I’m supposed to be doing. I kinda got a letter that said, “We’re not inviting you back.” But it all worked out. It all worked out. But, what do you think about Pete Davidson? ‘Cause, you know, Pete Davidson is on “SNL,” remember he dated Ariana Grande, and the Gerber girl. He talked to my friend Charlamagne. Hey, Charla. And he said that he feels as though he’s outgrown “Saturday Night Live.” That they always treat him dumb and stupid and they give him dumb and stupid roles. He said that? Yes. On air? He said it to Charlamagne, and now it’s everyplace. He’s not coming back. That’s what I’m thinking, is he fired this morning? They’ll probably let the season play out. Why? Why, that’s toxic behavior? How do you? You know what? I’m glad you said that, I’m glad you said that.
A lotta people hate their jobs.
Because I definitely wanna say this, and this is a jewel for all the young people. Your talent also is how you work with others. Yes. That is part of your talent. (audience applauding) Professionally how you work with others. So if you come to work and you huffing and puffing, or you are just saying stuff out loud that’s gonna make the room uncomfortable, the writing is on the wall, you’re just not reading it. Well, he said that it’s a very selfish environment, too. All the actors are out for themselves, there’s nobody supportive, management is not supportive. It’s just like, you go in there, you do your job, and you feel the chill. He also acknowledged again to Charlamagne he’s bipolar. He said that he’s always thought of himself as ugly. Which, I don’t think of him as ugly at all. As a matter of fact we were talking about him, he looks like a grown Macaulay Culkin with permanent raspberry lips, and like that. Bipolar, so you take your medication. But as far as talking about your job, he’s supposed to be fired this morning. Forget. “SNL” is a place, because one thing that people always stop me on when I’m touring, doing comedy, so many people come to the shows and say, “How do I get on SNL?” And I wanna say, yo, if your psyche isn’t together, if your mental state isn’t together about yourself, “SNL” will expose you, because they don’t care about the individual, they care about producing the show. So you have to be strong enough in what your funny is, what your characters are, what your stand-up is, to go in and write. And when they tell you, “No, it’s not going on.” You show up the next week, and try to have a better attitude, and try to get something else on. Because if you let them know it’s upset you, you’ll take yourself outta the game, and that’s what happened to me. I went to work every Saturday not wanting, not caring if I was on the show that weekend. So, I was hoping someone would write me in on a sketch instead of me just trying to figure it out, and write a dope sketch that everybody would remember, like a Debbie Downer, or a you know. Damn, you really didn’t care. Tracy Morgan. No, but, Debbie Downer was a dope sketch, and everybody remembers that, it’s pop culture, people say that now. And Tracy Morgan with the, what was the? Brian Fellows, like everybody’s looking for that Eddie Murphy type of, Mr. Robinson’s Neighborhood. And I couldn’t figure it out, so I got frustrated. Well, you figured it out now. And before you know it, I’m out. Give it up everybody, Finesse Mitchell. Watch him in “Outmatched,” Thursday nights at 8:30 on Fox. For more information on his comedy tour, he’s still touring with comedy, go to Ask Wendy is next. (upbeat music) (audience cheering and applauding) (upbeat music) We’re back! And it’s time for Ask Wendy. Everybody have a seat except for you, come on over. How you doin’? How you doin’? Fine, thank you, what’s your name, what do you do? My name is Sara, I’m a nurse. And where are you from? I live in New York. Okay, how can I help you Sara? So, I have a friends with benefits for a couple months now. The sex is very good, the problem is as soon as it’s done, he gets up and gets dressed, and he leaves. I just want a little bit more affection. Well, a little bit more would put him in the boyfriend category. No, no, no, I just wanna cuddle, that’s it. I just wanna cuddle a little bit, I don’t need any boyfriend. I just want a little cuddle, a little affection afterwards, and then he can leave. Do you set the stage? Do you light a candle, do you put dimmers on? No. Well see, you gotta set the stage, including a very formidable after sex snack. Where you don’t have to get out of the bed for it, it’s just kinda already there. Just there, okay. You know, like cheese sitting, or some room temperature chicken. The napkins. Then he’s gonna be there all night. Room temperature chicken. Well, you can’t have it both ways. No, no, no. What if you cuddle him then he goes to sleep? No. (laughing) Okay, well, don’t put too much out. Just a little something.
Okay, a little something. But you gotta set the stage. Okay. Good luck, Sara. Thank you. Come on over. How you doin’? How you doin’? Good, what’s your name, where are you from, what do you do? My name’s Stephanie, I’m from the Bronx. (audience cheering and applauding) I’m an avid thrifter, so I’m a reseller. So, I have been with my husband for eight years. We actually just got married in September, he’s in the army. But a couple months ago before he left I found a picture of my friend along with other women saved on his phone. But, he doesn’t think it’s a big deal. And I just don’t know if I should be concerned? Yes. That is a big deal. Is he gone now, or? Yeah, he’s gone right now. Okay, well, you can have this conversation with him, I don’t know that it’s going to do anything about it, ’cause you don’t even have his phone. I mean, you can’t. Oh, yeah, I talk to him now, he’s out of bootcamp, so he has his cellphone. No, no, no, I’m talking about to see whether he has the pictures in there. Oh, yeah, I know. I think that this is a concern, don’t you? Yes. And your friend. Yeah, my friend. Did you tell your friend, did you ask? No, she actually has no idea, she actually was my main model from my company. Step all the way up in there, and say, don’t be mad and swing your neck though. But just say, “Do you realize a little while ago, “and I’ve been holding onto this information, “but there’s a picture of you.” What’s she wearing? She was actually wearing a black tank top with no bra underneath. ‘Cause she’s a model, so she has many different kinds of photos. I don’t care. Yeah, I know. But that’s your friend. I know. And your husband’s wrong. For her and the rest of the girls. Yeah. All right, good luck. Thanks. (audience applauding) Oh, we have time for another one. Hi Wendy. How you doin’?
How you doin’? What’s your name, where are you from? I’m Holly, I’m from New Jersey. And what do you do? CPR instructor. Okay, Holly, how can I help? My question is, Wendy, I was at the movies and I saw my best friend’s husband with another woman, making out at the movies. What? (audience gasping) A month ago. I don’t know what to say or what to do, what should I do Wendy? Well, how long you been best friends with her? 15 years. How long have they been married? Five. Do they have children? None. Tell her. Okay. Tell her. Did you take a picture, or did you take? I was just so shocked seeing him there, like, what? Do you remember the movie you were at? Yes. Do you remember the time? I have proof. Okay, perfect, perfect. Then I would tell her. They’ve got no kids, only five years, and she’s got nothing to lose by either staying with him, but, you know, leading with her pinky. Or, leaving him alone. Okay, thank you. You’re very welcome. (audience applauding) Oh, we’ll be right back with 20 In 20. (upbeat music) (audience cheering and applauding) (audience cheering and applauding) (upbeat island music) We’re back, it’s time to play 20 In 20. Nefertiti is from some part of Jersey. Hamburg. Okay, perfect. And she’s a cosmetologist. And, you ready to go on a trip? Yes, I am. All right Nefertiti, put your hand on this. We’re gonna spend and see where you’re going. And three, two, one, go. (upbeat island music) Moon Palace, nice. Mr. Announcer, tell her all about it. It’s a trip to Moon Palace in Cancun, Mexico. We’ll fly you and a guest round trip for a five day four night stay at this luxurious all-inclusive resort. You’ll spend your trip diving into lavish swimming pools. Dining at multiple destinations, and dancing it up at their night club, Noir. They’re signature Awe Spa is perfect for a day of pampering. This trip will be one to remember. (audience cheering and applauding) If you win who are you bringing with you? I’ll probably bring my mother. Nice, and is she portable? Yes, she’s in Oregon. Okay, perfect, perfect. It’s called vacation, not hospice. You’re gonna have a nice time here, but, only if you guess correctly. This is Nick Jonas, he’s from Jersey, so you might have a leg up. Nick is the newest judge on which competition show? Go. (timer ticking) “The Voice.” That’s right! Yes, you’re going! Enjoy yourself, Nefertiti. Thank you for playing, and we’ll be right back. Nice job. (upbeat island music) (upbeat rhythmic music) (audience cheering and applauding) I don’t think I ever heard that come back from the commercial music before. ♪ Boom boom ba dum ♪ All right, we’re gonna play Sketchy Celebrity. Let’s meet our player, what’s your name, where you from? I’m Rachel, I’m from Dublin, Ireland. All right, come on over, Rachel. And what do you do over in Ireland? I live here, I live in New York. Okay, well, Rachel, look. You’re gonna have 20 seconds to guess which celebrity this is as it’s being sketched. I can give you hints. All right, and go! (fast paced music) They call her The Voice. The Voice. Don’t help Rachel. She… The hologram, Whitney Houston. Yes! (audience cheering and applauding) (bell ringing) Dinner for two at Serendipity, you’re gonna love the food there
Yes! We’ll be right back. (upbeat music) ♪ Ooh ooh ♪ ♪ Ooh ooh ♪ (audience cheering and applauding) (upbeat music) Good luck. Everybody looks fashionable, but it’s time for our eye candy, and look, I only have one Diva fan. Well, please, drum roll, please. (drum roll) Today’s winner is Judith Genty from New Jersey. (audience cheering and applauding) Sit there. Here you go. Thank you. Come on out. Look, this is so simple, any woman can wear this dress. And this right here, beautiful faux thing. Faux fur, yeah. It’s your birthday, nice head piece, or whatever’s going on, and nice boots, talk about it. Come on. Yeah, so it’s basically a faux fur. Nice sweater dress, off of the shoulder a little bit, and some black heels. There you go. Happy birthday. You got your Diva fan? And we’ll be right back, thanks Judith. (upbeat music) ♪ How you doin’ ♪ Finesse Mitchell, thank you so much. My co-hosts, my studio audience, I love you. Tomorrow Eva Marcille is here. I got you with the Hot Topics. I love you for watching today, and I’ll see you next time on “Wendy,” bye. (audience cheering and applauding) (upbeat music) ♪ Ooh ooh ♪ ♪ Ooh ooh ♪ ♪ Ooh ooh ♪ ♪ Ooh ooh ♪ ♪ Ooh ooh ♪ ♪ Ooh ooh ♪ ♪ Ooh ooh ♪ ♪ Ooh ooh ♪ ♪ Ooh ooh ♪ ♪ Ooh ooh ♪ ♪ Ooh ooh ♪ ♪ Ooh ooh ♪ ♪ Ooh ooh ♪ ♪ Ooh ooh ♪ ♪ Ooh ooh ♪ ♪ How you doin’ ♪ ♪ Ooh ooh ♪ ♪ Hey ♪ How you doin’? Nice. (dramatic music)

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