TIME TRAVELING PICKUP MASTER

TIME TRAVELING PICKUP MASTER


(surfer dude) If I could time-travel,
I’d totally go back in time to eat my lunch again. (Ian) SHUT UP!!! (movie narrator)
Project Almanac, rated PG-13. In theaters January 30th. – (actress) Whoa-ho!
– (actor #1) What the hell is that? – (actor #1) Here we go.
Project Almanac… ..temporal location prototype?
What does that mean? It means time travel. (actor #1) We should try to build it. (actor #2) You guys are crazy.
We can’t build a time machine. Yeah, there’s no way someone
could make a time machine that fast. What the hell is that? It’s a time machine, duh. Yeah, that “time machine”
is never gonna work. (zapping) Yeah, there’s no way someone
could make a time ma– (yelping) I just went back in time
and punched you in the balls! (gasping) That… is awesome! Dude, we have to use this thing
to do amazing things. Hey, Anthony, are you ready to go? (chocolaty voice) Yes, my sweet. Okay, what the hell
was that deep voice about? (sighs) Okay, dude,
whenever I get nervous, I kinda start to sound
like Darth Vader, okay? Look, I really need your help.
This is gonna be our second date. Our first date was fricking awful, and this time I really need
to impress her. Oh. I think I know a way to guarantee
she’ll be impressed. Oh, ah, sharp!
This is sharp. But then my mom eats the entire sandwich
before I could tell her, “Hey, that, uh, that is not mayonnaise– – Mayonnaise, yeah.
– On that sandwich, so don’t eat…” So, um, what kind of things
do you look for in a guy? Channing Tatum. I mean, he’s not buff like that,
but with his muscles… (grunts) Then…hell no. Ow. (zapping) (zapping) – (Ian grunts)
– What the hell?! Now go like that.
You’ll thank me later. What? So…(grunts)… what do you typically look
for in a guy? – Well…really,
– (loud clattering) what I look for in a man is intelligence. It’s funny you say that,
’cause a lot of people say I’m pretty intelleginant. (chuckles) Oh! (zapping) (grunts) Yeah, you don’t need that anymore. – What?
– Study up! Okay. Oh. The erector spinae muscles connect
to the fifth lumbar vertebrae? So helium walks into a bar,
and then the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve
noble gases here.” (snickers) He doesn’t react. (giggles) – (heavy breathing)
– (zapping) Oh god, I went way too far back. I’ll just come back
in, like, five minutes. (grunting) – (video game) Keep rubbing the bird.
– (Anthony grunts) Good job. (zapping) You’ll thank me later,
and, uh, just do that other thing in the shower from now on, please. Thanks. (zapping) Whew. Excuse me, sir, you can’t sit here
because you’re not eating anything. Yeah, I am. That’s a napkin, sir! Fine! (zapping) (zapping) (pills scatter) Excuse me, sir, you cannot… – (whimpering) You cannot…
– Is something wrong? I can’t what? You can’t… Oh, oh god! (yelping) What if I changed her
to be more like Anthony? (zapping) By the way, I really like your shirt. Thanks. So what do you think
of the show Gotham? I love Gotham. – (zapping)
– I watch it occasionally. – (zapping)
– I hate Gotham. Oh my god, me too! – What’s your favorite band?
– Maroon 5. – (zapping)
– Jonas Brothers. – (zapping)
– Chunky McButtons and the Hip-Happy Howdy Gang. I don’t even know who the f*ck that is. – (zapping)
– Taylor Swift. Meh, close enough. So do you, uh, wanna
head back to my place? Okay. Sweet! All right, hey, I’ll meet
you right out front, ‘kay? – I gotta poop.
– (girl) Okay. You are officially the best
time-travelling wing man ever. Aw, thanks, man. – (zapping)
– (man) Wait! Who the hell are you?! I’m you from the future
and if Anthony doesn’t come back with me right now, and instead
chooses to make out with that super-hot girl,
the world as we know it will end! Yeah, I kinda really, really wanna
make out with her, so…yeah, I’m just gonna go do that. See you guys later. What? Heh, I totally would’ve done
the same thing. Yeah, me too. (Anthony) Hey, guys, thanks
so much for watching. If you couldn’t tell already,
we were parodying the movie Project Almanac,
so make sure to check out that movie trailer by clicking
the video on the right, right now. (actor) We’re rolling back
to the beginning. It could kill you! It’s the only way to stop
all this from happening. Don’t shoot! (gunfire) (Anthony) And to see an extended ending
for this video, and bloopers, click the video on the left. Yeah, there’s no–(groans) I’m just kidding. (laughter) (Anthony) And if you
haven’t already subscribed, click that subscribe button right there.
It’s your second chance, so you don’t have to go
back in time or anything. It’s right here. Click it if you want it!

100 thoughts on “TIME TRAVELING PICKUP MASTER

  1. 1:51 notice the glass falling from the table in that scene but in this scene 1:54 and 1:56 the glass is still on the table

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