Does Trump Understand How Elections Work?

Does Trump Understand How Elections Work?



ON THE OTHER SIDE, FLORIDA IS
STILL A MESS. YOU'LL RECALL ON ELECTION NIGHT
THAT THE WINNERS IN THE SUNSHINE STATE WERE REPUBLICANS RON
DESANTIS AND RICK SCOTT. BUT THE VOTE TALLY WAS SO CLOSE
THAT FLORIDA HAS BEGUN AUTOMATIC RECOUNTS IN BOTH THE SENATE AND
GOVERNOR'S RACES. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
RECOUNT. HUGE RECOUNT FANS. RIGHT NOW, WE DON'T KNOW WHO
WON. OF COURSE, THIS IS FLORIDA, SO
ONCE THEY FACTOR THE WRITE-IN VOTES, WE MIGHT BE LOOKING AT
SENATOR GATOR WEARING SUNGLASSES. ( LAUGHTER )
STRONG ON DEFENSE. NOW THE RECOUNTERS SAY THEY'LL
HAVE RESULTS BY THURSDAY. THURSDAY… THIS IS SO NERVE-WRACKING, IT'S
LIKE WAITING FOR RESULTS FROM THE DOCTOR. "YES, WE HAVE YOUR LAB WORK
BACK, AND I'M SORRY… YOU HAVE DESANTIS. ( LAUGHTER )
YOU'LL WANT TO CALL ALL YOUR PREVIOUS PARTNERS AND LET THEM
KNOW." ( LAUGHTER )
REPUBLICANS HAVE BEEN SKEPTICAL OF THE RECOUNT. ONE G.O.P. CONGRESSMAN SAID,
"FOR ALL I KNOW, THEY'RE STILL COUNTING BALLOTS FOR AL GORE
BACK THERE!" ( LAUGHTER )
HEY, THAT'S NOT FUNNY! THEY ARE. ( LAUGHTER )
HANG IN THERE, AL. HANG IN THERE. ( LAUGHTER )
AND THIS MORNING, TRUMP TWEETED: (AS TRUMP): "THE FLORIDA
ELECTION SHOULD BE CALLED IN FAVOR OF RICK SCOTT AND RON
DESANTIS, IN THAT LARGE NUMBERS OF NEW BALLOTS SHOWED UP OUT OF
NOWHERE, AND MANY BALLOTS ARE MISSING OR FORGED. AN HONEST VOTE COUNT IS NO
LONGER POSSIBLE. BALLOTS MASSIVELY INFECTED. MUST GO WITH ELECTION NIGHT!"
GO WITH ELECTION NIGHT? ( BOOING )
YOU CAN'T JUST PICK THE TIME THAT WAS BEST FOR YOU. (AS TRUMP): "MY TEAM WAS UP IN
THE SEVENTH INNING, THEN I WENT TO BED, AND WHEN I WOKE UP, THEY
HAD LOST. AN HONEST SCORE IS NO LONGER
POSSIBLE! ( LAUGHTER )
MUST GO WITH SEVENTH INNING!" AND THESE AREN'T VOTES "OUT OF
NOWHERE," THEY'RE ABSENTEE BALLOTS. IN FACT: FLORIDA ACCEPTS
OVERSEAS AND MILITARY BALLOTS THROUGH NOV. 16, MEANING THAT
TRUMP'S PLAN WOULD DISENFRANCHISE MILITARY SERVICE
MEMBERS AND AMERICANS ABROAD. YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO CELEBRATE
VETERANS DAY BY TAKING AWAY THEIR RIGHT TO VOTE. YOU CELEBRATE BY POSTING A
PICTURE OF YOUR HOT GRANDPA IN WORLD WAR II ON INSTAGRAM AND
RAKING IN THE LIKES! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
MEANWHILE, IN ARIZONA'S SENATE RACE, AFTER TRAILING ON ELECTION
NIGHT, DEMOCRAT KYRSTEN SINEMA NOW LEADS REPUBLICAN MARTHA
MCSALLY BY 1.5 PERCENTAGE POINTS. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
ARIZONA HAS A HEATED RACE, BUT IT'S A DRY HEAT. SO, PRETTY COMFORTABLE. ( LAUGHTER )
YOU'RE WELCOME. BUT UNLIKE FLORIDA, BOTH SIDES
IN THIS ELECTION ARE SAYING EVERY BALLOT SHOULD BE COUNTED. IT'S BEEN SLOW BECAUSE 75% OF
THE STATE'S ELECTORATE VOTES BY MAIL. THE OTHER 25% OF ARIZONANS
WHISPER THEIR VOTE INTO A DREAMCATCHER. ( LAUGHTER )
NOW, THERE WAS A BRIEF CONTROVERSY ABOUT WHAT TO DO
ABOUT SOME OF THE VOTES BECAUSE SIGNATURES DIDN'T MATCH, BUT A
COURT RESOLVED THE ISSUE. TRUMP STILL FREAKED OUT,
TWEETING, "JUST OUT– IN ARIZONA, SIGNATURES DON'T MATCH. ELECTORAL CORRUPTION– CALL FOR
A NEW ELECTION?" SURE. HOW ABOUT 2016? ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
( PIANO RIFF ) THE PRESIDENT WAS IN PARIS THIS
WEEKEND FOR THE 100TH ANNIVERSARY OF ARMISTICE DAY AND
WAS SCHEDULED TO PAY HIS RESPECTS AT A U.S. MILITARY
CEMETERY. THESE SOLDIERS FOUGHT TIRELESSLY
THROUGH BRUTAL CONDITIONS, SO OF COURSE, TRUMP CANCELLED HIS TRIP
TO THE CEMETERY DUE TO RAIN. WELL, YOU CAN'T BLAME HIM, HE'S
ONLY GOT ONE UMBRELLA AND HE COULDN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO BRING
IT ON THE PLANE. ( LAUGHTER )
( PIANO RIFF ) TRUMP DID ATTEND THE CEREMONIES
YESTERDAY, BUT THE OTHER LEADERS SAID MEAN THINGS, LIKE FRENCH
PRESIDENT EMMANUEL MACRON: >> PATRIOTISM IS THE EXACT
OPPOSITE OF NATIONALISM. NATIONALISM IS A BETRAYAL OF
PATRIOTISM BY SAYING OUR INTERESTS FIRST, WHO CARES ABOUT
THE OTHERS. WE ERASE WHAT A NATION HOLDS
DEAREST, WHAT GIVES IT LIFE, WHAT GIVES IT GRACE, AND WHAT IS
ESSENTIAL. IT'S MORAL VALUES. >> STEPHEN: FIRST OF ALL, THESE
FRENCH GUYS SOUND LIKE GIRLS. SECOND, I JUST WANT TO POINT OUT
THAT A MAN GAVE A SPEECH ABOUT THE IMPORTANCE OF MORAL VALUES
AND EVERYONE SAYS HE WAS INSULTING OUR PRESIDENT. ( LAUGHTER )
BUT TRUMP DID HAVE ONE ALLY. UNFORTUNATELY, IT WASN'T AN
ALLY, IT WAS VLADIMIR PUTIN. JUST LOOK AT TRUMP'S FACE WHEN
PUTIN ARRIVED. SO HAPPY. I CAN JUST IMAGINE THEIR
INNER-MONOLOGUES: (AS MACRON): "I AM LOOKING INTO
THE EYES OF A SOCIOPATH." (AS MERKEL): "MEIN GOTT, THIS
MONSTER WILL KILL US ALL." (AS TRUMP): S "MORE THAN A
FEELING S MORE THAN A FEELING
S WHEN I SEE VLADIMIR WALK MY WAY" S
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
TONIGHT.

22 thoughts on “Does Trump Understand How Elections Work?

  1. I was watching family guy the other day and surprised by the fact that Florida was insulted so many time. Half of the time I was even a little annoyed. Now I think that Seth might have been right about everything.

  2. He couldn't deal with a little rain at the US cemetery in France, yet he claimed he would have "run into" the Parkland school while the shooter was killing people and it was raining bullets. Come on!

  3. "I just want to point out- A guy was giving a speech about the importance of moral values and everyone assumes he was insulting the president"
    Yup, that's basically the current state of America in a nutshell.

  4. Wohoo! Iam not a Fan of Angela Merkel. But, well, iam soo happy to live in Germany.
    At the beginning of his presidency, i hoped it is a masked Leslie Nielsen (sadly dead) or even Baron Cohen. Soo sa-a-ad, absolutely! (imitate Trump) its the real DoH.nald Trump.
    Maybe America needs more parties – a bigger Diversity = a bigger Democracy.

    To all American Citizen
    Keep it on! – Stop MAGA 2020 !

    By the way: What about Al Bundy – 2020 !?
    I think he would be better 😉

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