New Zealand- Australia, the gem of the southern hemisphere. While it may be the world’s smallest continent, that doesn’t mean that this former prison nation doesn’t have just as much bite as its bark. (thud, echoing) Australia! “… and lives by his wits…” (thud, beep) Did you know that Australia is the world’s 12th largest economy? The United States MAY BE number one, but Australia is number 12. Good on ya, Australia! You brown piece of shit! The country is also a wealth of history, culture, and drunken debauchery. From the bars of Melbourne to the bars of Sydney, there’s no place you can’t get drunk in Australia. That being said, apparently there’s a whole western part of Australia that no one’s ever been to before. [eagle caw] Fuck you, Perth! Do you really wanna see the world? Well, so do Australians. Unfortunately, as we mentioned earlier, Australia is, in fact, a prison colony. [laughter] Commonwealth? More like common sense… … to GO there! Hugh Jackman, Iggy Azalea, and Chris Hemsworth, and LIAM Hemsworth, all moved away from Australia as soon as they could. (background) Mel Gibson! [laughter] Some parts of Star Wars: Episode II and III even come from Australia! Did you know that Australia was invented because New Zealand was too small? Koalas, crocodiles, kangaroos, wallabies: all these things can be easily found in a zoo in your home town. But why not spend $7000 to see them in person for some reason in beautiful Australia? (echoing) Australia! All the people I’ve met are fantastic and they really like lamb. Australia’s home to cool landmarks like the Taj Mahal, and, um… I guess I gotta take my glasses off before this… I’d like to thank Australia for taking my virginity! Seriously, I don’t think you fucking get it, Australia IS A PRISON CON-TI-NENT. EVERYONE there is a criminal! Australia’s home to the freeway as seen in the Matrix R-Rel-oaoa-ded There are more hobbits than you’d think, and fewer than we’d like! Guys, remember Steve Irwin? (echoing) Australia! True Australian fact – (echoing) Australia! during the Vietnam war, Prime Minister Harold Holt disappeared while swimming, and was presumed drowned. Later, a swimming pool in suburban Melbourne was named after him. “Crocodile…” Australia! “… Dundee” For when your plane forgets to land in Hawaii. [eagle caw]

100 thoughts on “AUSTRALIA = PRISON CONTINENT – Funhaus Tourism Bureau

  1. This clearly shows how typical arrogant Americans really are and the rest of the world knows it. At least we don't fear to be shot at school or mall or drinking poisonous lead river water for more than 2 years. Just to let u know just between 2 states in Australia, 4 cities made the top 10 list of most liveable cities

  2. they dont give birth certificates here in australia, they give out felony charges when you're born. i came out with 3 drunk driving charges and 2.5 homicide charges

  3. Yeah this is pretty much Australia. Seriously guys it's a prison continent. Don't come here unless you wanna get bitten by a snake

  4. I'd take offense to being called a prison continent but one of my ancestors came to Australia after he stole a cow from his uncle and then tried to sell it back to him so hmm.

  5. Legend says that Steve irwin is still alive and if you go to Australia some people can still hear him say "crikey mate"

  6. Thankyou for reminding us Aussies things we cringe at; Paul Hogan, Mel Gibson(he's American by the way, you can have him now, just like Rupert fucking Murdoch).

  7. that harold holt pool fact is real
    I had my school swimming events at that place
    it's kind of fucked up
    it's super fucked up

  8. I better leave this comment before i have to go back to my cell. we only get to use the internet an hour a day, whenever it is working that is

  9. fun Australian fact a while back a bunch of us got a petition going to try and get the Australian dollar officially changed to dollaridoos
    it didn't go through but I'm keeping the dream alive and there's nothing you peasants can do about it

    another fun Australian fact our country is literally run by an AU Donald Trump who was born in Australia instead of America.

  10. Great video. I want to go on a holiday to Australia now, and I fucking live here!
    On a serious note though, I vote that every Australian packs their bags and moves to New Zealand. A government enforced mass migration. That way all the people trying to come here on floating doors can make a life here, while we can all go live in Middle Earth with fucking excellent internet! Also, it would piss the kiwis off sooo much. Can you imagine all us cunts showing up at once? They'd be mad as a… Thing. Mad as a really mad thing.

  11. Australia isn't actually as bad as you think (except of the GOD DAMN WEATHER)

    regardless, i enjoy these teasing Australia jokes, they're pretty funny.

  12. I like more than half of your videos half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of your videos half as well as they deserve.

  13. The next one could easily be done about England or the UK, and if done accurately .. Will be 100x more brutal..

  14. why the fuck does everyone think Australia has shit internet?๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
    My internet is perfectly fine thank you

  15. Yeah like America's any better, when you colonised you were like "oh yeah let's endanger every fucking native animal here" and while we're at it, how bout we have slaves that are worth 3 fifths of a person. Not to mention, but Australia seems to be a lot less fatter than America, oh and America degrades animals until they're less than dirt when farming them. One more fact, how many recent shootings have happened in Australia involving several schoolchildren, oh what's that, none. America also has a solution to school shootings MORE GUNS yeah, real smart. I know Obama is trying his best, but Donald trump as a WINNING presidential candidate, America your country's fucked, and Australia is one of the options for accomodation.

  16. Oh yeah btw, the prisoners were just an excuse to actually populate Australia, not many other people wanted to come because of the chance that the natives were cannibals, which they were not.

  17. i can confirm everyone in Australia is a criminal, we've all stolen at least 1 packet of chips from the local iga

  18. New Zealand is awesome, Australia not so much. And yes, I've been to both.
    But the funniest thing is, in New Zealand, the scariest thing in the bush (the woods to us) is possums. They have no natural predators, and yet everything in Australia wants to/ can kill you, even the dirt. But swimming over the Great Barrier Reef was really cool.

  19. I come back to these videos every few weeks after a rough day at work, have myself some stabbage (that's when the weed feels like its stabbing you because what you're doing is a sin and illegal)
    and they get me every fucking time, love ya boo <3

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